How To Slaughter A Cow?

Step 1: Make a fake ID, preferably under a female Muslim name & go to a cyber cafe to make a Facebook account. Being a female Muslim is important. Since the minimum age requirement to sign-up on Facebook is just 13 years, be a 14-year old Muslim girl on Facebook.

Step 2: Since you have just joined Facebook, make an active profile. Add a real school, add people from that school who think you are their junior & even those who would think you are their senior. Like pages, interact & chat with friends and use Facebook for what it stands for.

Step 3: Start taking a stand on issues, especially on the ban on sale of cattle for slaughter. This is where your Muslim credentials will help. They will understand what you are talking about better. After all, this ban is a direct assault on your way of life. On top of that, it has an impact on the 22-35 lakh jobs in the country primarily in the meat and leather industry which largely employs Muslims. Join groups & start adding people with a similar ideology. Being a girl would mean boys will be happy to interact with you and tilt towards what you are saying by default.

Step 4: Slowly…gradually start getting more radical. Get into arguments with Hindus on their Facebook groups.

cow blog
Post comments on posts like these posted on a group which has almost 3.5 lakh members

Add lengthy arguments on their posts to which they will retort back with abuses related to your religion, gender & of course question your loyalty.

Meanwhile cow vigilante groups will drag & lynch people for transporting cows or for just sitting in a train & getting into an argument. The upper middle-class will use hashtags to protest & come on the streets of the poshest neighborhoods in Mumbai.

You tweet using that hashtag and for a change, the PM mentions the lynchings in his radio address. All newspapers carry his statement as if God himself has come down on earth and told people not to kill (for the 100th time), but on the ground it does not matter. You realize that these are just words that do not result in any change.

People continue to be lynched. You realize that tweeting over hashtags is not enough. Something more needs to be done. More eye-catching, more radical to truly get the nation talking.

Something on the lines of what Kerala Youth Congress members did…slaughter a cow & put it up on social media. But that was not big enough. It happened in haste and there was no noise around it.

Step 5: You put out a post that you will slaughter a cow Live on Facebook. Spread the word out. Share it on groups who understand your concerns and on those who vehemently oppose you as well. Share it on news channels & online publications’ pages as well. Let them do the job of spreading this poison.

Step 6: Give it time. Post daily, dropping hints on where & how will you do it. Tell people to spread the word at beef festivals. The more people you get, the more it will spread. If a Republic TV can go all out supporting the Hindus and have their star anchor berate his opposing voices in public, why can’t you take an opposing stand and berate what Hindus hold dear.

To get the maximum impact, pick the day of a Hindu festival like Navratri or Dussehra.

Step 7: Many people would applaud you & would want to join you. See their credentials and get some to work for you. All they need to do is come up with a hashtag & live tweet the entire thing. That is how all events are covered and this is also an event. You can’t just slaughter a cow and get done with it. This is bigger than that.

This is a statement to everyone of the frustration against people who do not give you a place to live in their neighborhoods, who call you names in public and who are abused by their own neighbors for believing in a particular faith.

A statement that the more you are pushed with your back against the wall, the harder you will bounce back and the bloodier it will get. It is a statement that one mention in some address by the PM will not be enough but you need to be considered equal in the hearts and minds of everyone.

Get a proper multi-camera set-up because this is like a cricket match. You need to have editors to edit the event live and take the atmosphere in from all possible angles. The people need to see the anger in your eyes, the sweat on your brow and the swiftness of your blow.

Let the blood spurting out after the beheading be a symbolic “Fuck you” to those people.

If a person in the US can live-stream the killing of a person then why can’t the same be done for a cow. Aren’t cows’ lives more precious than a person’s here.

And voila, if enough people stream & join you with their comments or with “expressions” you may even get this to international media. The best part is that if this sticks, more and more people will do it across the country.

Next thing you know, people are killing cows all over the place and their friends are getting killed by those people who want to protect the cows.

Suddenly slaughtering a cow seems easy but digesting human slaughter becomes easier.

How To Slaughter A Cow?

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